01 September 2010

Vosges Mo's Bacon Bar -- Review and Rating

I know it's been a long time since I last reviewed/rated anything...but this one product got me in the mind-set to do it again.

Vosges "Mo's Bacon Bar"...

What is it? It's a chocolate bar with bacon.

The label on the front reads:

"applewood smoked bacon
alderwood smoked salt
deep milk chocolate

45% cacao"

Eh..."45% crap" is more like it. (It would have gotten a higher "crap percentage" but, in all seriousness, the chocolate itself was incredibly tasty. Furthermore, I think they invented the term "deep milk chocolate"...but I digress.)

Now, don't get me wrong...I think the thought process behind this is brilliant: "Let's take two things people LOVE and combine them." But, while I guess they were looking more for a "You got your peanut butter on my chocolate...you got your chocolate in my peanut butter" moment, to me -- it failed miserably.

I first heard of bacon chocolate bars from my friend in Texas a couple months ago and was quite intrigued to try one. I think our overall opinions were pretty much the same: We really didn't like it.

I liken it to getting a Hershey Bar (actually a yummier chocolate than that...but not dark...my preference will always be for dark), a container of Bac-O-Bits, and a small bowl of Kosher salt. Next, tequila-shot style, take a bite of the chocolate bar...let it semi-melt in your mouth...pop in a couple Bac-O-Bits...chew them up with the chocolate and while you are in the process of gagging at the thought of something really chewy and not normal IN your chocolate bar...dip the tip of your tongue...just ever so slightly...in the Kosher salt.

There! You have it. Pretty much the same exact taste with the same abnormal mouth feel.

And all for considerably less than the $6.99 I paid for the "privilege" of tasting this 3 oz baco-bar tonight.

This "taste treat abomination" gets a whopping "Production Points" score of "1".*

Lastly, the woman who puts this chocolate bar out undoubtedly thought the write-up on the back of the bar's packaging was her personal resume...and, boy-oh-boy, did she pad it. I think the only thing she left out was being the "teacher's pet" in third grade.

Perhaps if she were a tad more humble and used less words describing how "extensive and incredible" her culinary background, I'd try her other flavoured chocolates. As it is now, I'll pass. By the sheer volume of exotic and non-exotic locations she's visited, it seems she doesn't need the money, anyway.

(See all those words above the ingredients [under the windmill] and "Nutrition Facts"? It's basically all about her.)

*"Production Points" scoring: 1 is the worst...10 is the best.


Anonymous said...

Oh god.....that's disgusting hahah I like how you said 45% of crap. Have you heard about the deep fried butter? Sounds absolutely disgusting and very fattening...

-Patrick ((Too lazy to log onto my google account hehe))

Nanners said...

#1 I wouldn't even try this as it doesn't sound like it would taste good, but am glad to know that if I ever wanted to try it---not worth it!!!

Anonymous said...

I think I'm going to take your word on this and never try it. It sounds disgusting and bacon is one of my favorite thins in the world. I think I'll stick the the undiluted flavor of plain bacon though. Adding chocolate to it seems to be a bit of an insult to the poor animal that gave its life.


Keri said...

Hmmm... I'm taking your word for this. Never heard of the bar, but what about just chocolate COVERED bacon. I've been wanting to try it. Just two ingredients. Sounds like a winner to me. Thanks,



Mariann Simms said...

Keri - Yes, I think chocolate covered bacon might be better. You know you're getting the bacon when you take a bite. With this chocolate bar, it was more like "might get one bit...might get five". Blech...not the way I want to have it. Perhaps if they would have pulverized the bacon so they didn't seem like bits of gristle in the chocolate, it would have worked better.